Just a quick one today, pretty much letting you know I'm still alive! Such an awesome couple months/summer. Most amazing ever perhaps. Won't tell you alllll just yet, great detail is required! But briefly, I'm back at uni today ahh, trying to get back into it after 2yrs, helllllp. Hopefully everything starts to fall into place and I get some structure back in my life! Yes that's the only positive on the uni front haha
02/28/2010
01/06/2010
Disclosure x2
Ok so finally going to fill you in on my Xmas Eve rampage - best one ever. Great times; laughing, dancing, drinking - with friends. I was so excited about the fact I was going to see 'the boy' that night, but never would have expected what came first. Never felt more loved, wanted, needed, attractive, irresistible - in my life. A guy I have known (of) for years now, 10 years to be more specific, is always at the Ed Xmas Eve, without fail, and every year since I've been legal to attend, I've seen him there. This guy is perfection. Everything about him. The most amazing slice of stunning beautiful you will ever lay eyes on. The kind of human-being you're lucky to be in the vicinity of, but not all get to touch or even talk to this piece of greatness. You get the idea - he's unreal, a dream, to good to be true. Amazing!
So there I am, early on in the day, he's spotted. I get butterflies immediately. I enjoy the rest of the arvo chatting with friends and pausing for a deep breath every time he came near. 6pm, the dancefloor beckoned. I love to dance. It's a chance to escape and feel the music. I never miss that opportunity. So we're dancing up a freakin' storm and he too feels it's time to let loose. So many guys don't dance. This annoys the shit outta me. There's something so undeniably sexy about a guy who feels comfortable enough to dance. And not only dance, but dance well. Feel the rhythm, sing, laugh, smile back when you smile, maintain eye contact when you look, and most importantly enjoy himself! Nothing better!!
So needless to say; I was dancing, he was dancing. Eyes gazing. Smiles shimmering. I was acting like I was in my own little world, but all the while knew exactly where he was, what he was doing and the way he would not stop looking at me. Until he made his move. Grabbing my hand. Pulling me in close. In that moment it felt like we were the only two people on earth. I looked up into his eyes. Breathless. And he dipped me. Before bringing me back up, my hand grasping his, twirling me fast, my dress raising, my heart racing. The only two people in the world. We smiled at each other, knowing that was a moment we would never forget.
The night went on, predictably one thing led to another and I don't have to spell out what happened thereafter. The most amazing night of my life. A connection unlike no other that only developed further two nights after. We didn't see each other again, but instead had the most intense deep and meaningful phone conversation ever.
All in all, we live in different states and currently I am not in a relationship state of mind - I just want some fun. We will stay in touch long distance as friends and chat every now and then. I'm happy with that, if it develops the connection more and leads to a relationship, great. But if not we will still chat and he will become one of my many guy mates who I cherish most.
Meanwhile, I told you earlier about the guy I was excited to see that night also . . . well I did, and it was great. Plan to see him again this weekend - can't wait!
01/04/2010
Don't call me. Don't write. Don't show up in the middle of the night.
So now I say the things I want to say
Sometimes it's better letting go this way
I'll always know
Down in my soul
We really had so far to go
I've given all I had to give
And now it's time for me to live
And I won't look back
And I won't regret
Though it hurts like hell
Someday I will forget
Trying to draw the line between who you are and who you invent . . .
ADAM COHEN - CRY OPHELIA [traducido]
Keep your memories of yourself . . . In a shoebox on a closet shelf.
Mind your manners. Watch your weight. Be a good boy. Just behave. What's wrong with you? Settle down. Keep your two feet on the ground. Sit up straight. Stand up tall. Never falter. Never fall. Stay in school. Make the grade. Never fail. And never fade.
Be a hero. Be a star. Anything but what you are. Find a girl to possess. Always pay, pursue, protect. Be a master. Be a slave. Work your ass into an early grave.
But you deserve to be loved
You deserve something real
Time to heal
Time to feel
Daddy's favourite little girl. Dress up in your momma's pearls. Serve us breakfast in her bed. Heard a little kiss on the forehead. You are sugar. You are spice. You are growing up so nice. Paint your nails. Paint your face. Paint around the empty space.
Find a man that can provide. Try and fill the hole inside. With a family and a home. Tell yourself you're not alone. Keep your memories of yourself. In a shoebox on a closet shelf.
But you deserve to be loved
You deserve something real
Time to heal
Time to feel
You deserve to be loved
You deserve to be loved
You deserve to be loved
12/23/2009
Disclosure.
Sadly I don't get very festive anymore. Not really sure why but I'm easily over the whole thing. The family reunions, shopping, cleaning, eating. Ugh I'm tired just thinking about it. It's now clicked over to Chrissie Eve. This is what I enjoy most. The excuse to party. Everyone is out @ Christmas. They don't really have an excuse not too be. It's expected of society to celebrate. I'm not by any means a heavy drinker, or drinker at all really. Laughing with friends is all I need. Last year I was newly heartbroken - greeeeeaaaaaat! And didn't give a shit about anyone or anything. I went out to block out the crap. This year however is rather random. I have a couple (or four more precisely) guys on the go. Two actually have a chance. I mean they're already in and they know it. One is a total flirt-fest, having known him for years, it's something I never thought would happen. (And still doubt it will but hey it's fun!) And the last one doesn't have a chance in hell. Like seriously, this dude is too full-on for his own good! Stalk-central. All four are so different, and I love that. They keep me entertained! The top two I have been on dates with, but one seems to have gone MIA the last couple days. I chase some, but not all. I must admit, I chased him at first but the ball has been in his court since then. If he was the only guy I had going, I'd be totally devastated with the lack of contact. But alas, there's more haha! The guy I'm seeing Chrissie Eve has been away since we first started things up a month ago now. He knows me fairly well. Hmm yeah he's my ex's best mate. I know, I know, it's terrible. Seriously something you see in the movies. But when I know there's something there with a guy, I wanna discover it. I don't like missing out and regretting this stuff. It's not even a revenge thing in any sense. I don't even think of him as the ex's mate anymore. And come on, the ex broke up with me, not the other way around. I'm not working my way through his mates. I actually get on better with this guy then I did the ex. Well there's more in common anyway. He really does fit my standards and who know's maybe the heartbreak with his best mate was all meant for now - a year on, getting close to this guy who constantly impresses me with how much of a gentleman he is. I can't wait to see him!!
